We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
