I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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