i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
