I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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