Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
