Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
