Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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