I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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