Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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