stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
