I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
