Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize