As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
