Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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