Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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