4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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