the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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