Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
