Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
