question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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