He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
