I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
