We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
