I don't think brook has ever known best
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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