these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
