it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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