Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize