if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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