This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
