Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
