It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
