the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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