I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
