That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
