He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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