Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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