I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is her dick bigger than yours?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
