so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
