I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
