Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
