really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
