I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
