I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
