there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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