shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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