Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize