why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
