Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
