just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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