He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
