NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
