maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
