Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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