Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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