just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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