every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
