I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize