So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
