oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize