I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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