Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
