they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
