The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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