Im at strip club and am horny
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
