forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
